Relaxation

Relaxation is one of the things I wish I had right now. I mean obviously this is going to be a complaint procrastination post because what else do I do when I'm on this blog.

Written to the sounds of Shiller by Ratatat.

The good thus far.
I am really loving the new Wolf Parade and Ratatat. I don't have the albums completely, but what I have so far is fabulous. It's basically what's fueling me right now.

The bad thus far.
My life is chaotic. It's summer and I have the biggest planned schedule ever. Actual class from 4-10pm for 3 out of 7 days. Work for 30+ hours when I'm not in class. Studying for my other online class probably a good 2 hours 5 out of the 7 days. (It's anatomy.) I wake up and study. I get home and study. This has been the longest week of my life. I am dying. I haven't even seen my mom this whole week. Not that we even live together or anything. Dropping $60 for gas. Dropped another $50 to get my laptop fixed but at least it wasn't $279 as it was intended to be. I just hope I don't get sick.

I just want to sit. DO NOTHING for a day. Go some place random and sit there. With no one worrying where I am or where I'm going. OR worry about studying for my next test. OR worry that I have to get cash to pay my bills. Just sit and watch the day go by. Just sit. I just want to sit.

A more positive aspect

It's too true to say that my life sucks and that I must constantly hold the key to a door. That door that won't open to opportunities. The power is in the struggle that you must encounter and adversity you must overcome. To speak in a passive voice, telling like a fortune cookie that this IS the best times of your life. You must know now that the twitch in your right eye is for the better. The cough and inability to breathe is your nemesis. There will always be another person and someone to rain on your parade. As much of an idealist that you may be, someone has already thought of it before you did. You must learn. YOU MUST LEARN that this is what you have to do. That the worse part is NOT over and you will continue to learn. IT does not make any sense to do this and that or say you are going to. The use of this and doing that is that you will reek the benefits. That it will work out in the end. The final cause is the point and I cannot rest until it has been achieved. For this is what I sound like on a lack of sleep and after a philosophy final. This is what they want of us.

I SO CONFUSED!

ummm seriously fuck my life.

I got into one of the classes i tried to register for.
Nothing is working out.
my body is falling apart as seen in the last post.
there are earthquakes up in the mother.
i think the sky is falling.
i have flipping 4 papers to write.
always meeting with my teachers, mentors, advisor.
where the fuck does my time go.
to stupid shit like this.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Outside your window.

I'm blogging. i am going to bed. i'm so tired im not even going to bother with punctuation. you know the usual. my f key/ button on my computer broke. im really pissed off with it.
i can't control things. i hate not being able to control things. such as being sick.
the flu again. cold, whooping cough and flu and flu. my body is falling apart. i'm falling apart.

My musical family tree cont.

Ok so far you've read that I wanted Jeff Tweedy from Wilco as my father. That still stands.
Here, I have further developed who I want as members in my ultimate music family.
George Hunter from Catfish Haven as my uncle. Dolly Parton as my grandmother. Ben Gibbard is my cousin twice removed, so technically he's not really my cousin anymore. Oh yeah if you didn't know David Vandevelde is my husband. I thought that was obvious, just hear this ring, Sanita Vandervelde. Yea. I know its beautiful. I had more developments, but I guess I forgot them. I will make a visual tree eventually.